I HAVE MET THE ENEMY

For eons, I have been afraid of spiders, deathly afraid. So much so, I have developed a type of "spider-sense" which allows me to "feel" when I am in the vicinity of say a house, wolf or recluse spider. I know when those bastards are lurking, ready to jump onto my face and drink from my eyes.

For years, we have lived with a shaky peace, they stay in their dank, dark corners and I stay everywhere else, it's been good. Well now, the Kingdom of the Spiders have upped the ante and like the next generation of terminators, they have unleashed a new terror to deal with!

This is the Assassin Spider. It lives in Southern Africa and – surprise! – Australia.

You know what? All of the horrifying animals native to this country sure go a long way toward explaining their national motto: “Australia: Even though nature vomited monsters all over this barren isle of Lovecraftian horror, we fucking live here anyway, because we just don’t give a shit.”

But I digress. While the Assassin Spider may look a little sinister in that picture up there - as though it is plotting some sort of nefarious scheme to finally do away with that pesky Superman - that’s not why it made the list. This is:

See, the Assassin Spider is named for the uniquely long neck that separates its head from its thorax which, in conjunction with its proportionally gigantic venom-coated fangs - up to ten times the size of a normal spider - allow it to strike like a snake does: It snaps its elongated neck out and uses those forward-thrust mandibles to spear potential prey.

So hey, fucking check that shit out!

It’s a spider with a spring-loaded giraffe neck, which it uses to hurl its unearthly face (topped with disproportionately large venomous fangs) out at you like a grappling hook made out of my childhood nightmares!

Awesome.

Yes, that is fantastic news that something like this abomination exists. I love not sleeping for the rest of my life. I’m so glad I have an excuse to do that now. Michelle is not afraid of spiders but I bet she would break into a cold sweat if she saw this devil coming at us. Me? I'd probably slip into a brain-dead coma right then and there.

Welcome to the world Assassin Spider, I hate to meet you.

MARCH SHENANIGANS

March was a big Month, take a look...

• I created my first simple iMovie video titled THE BEASTS. I know it's not much but you gotta start somewhere.

• I went to Singapore for an amazing job interview and a few days of sightseeing. I liked it so much, I took the job! More on that in the coming weeks once the Visa is finalized. For now, check out my five great days in SINGAPORE

• Happy Birthday CLINT!

• VANCOUVER EATS reviewed CIPRIANO'S, MODERNE BURGER, ZAWA and PLAN B!

• Happy Birthday CHRIS!

• I spent a great week in San Francisco taking part in GDC and then enjoying the sights and the city with Michelle, it was an awesome TRIP!

• As always, here are the rest of our pics for MARCH!
  

SAN FRANCISCO

What a week indeed, so much has happened it's hard to believe it's all over but at the same time, I'm glad it is and I am home...

• DAY 1 - Came down to GDC (The Game Developers Conference) on the 6am flight to have an interview with an awesome company in Europe which went quite well. Then I went to the conference itself and met some old co-workers and made some new contacts. I went for dinner with some friends at TWO and ended the night by hooking up with Adam, Kraig, Tim and a few others for a night of boozey fun. I also popped into the Edge/LucasArts Party.

• DAY 2 - More GDC, more meetings and I signed a deal! That's right, I HAVE A NEW JOB!!! Now... I won't say what the job is until the Visa situation is confirmed as I don't want to jinx it but until that time, let's just say it involves a move to "Singapore" and it involves "Star Wars". You got it? More on this in a few weeks when it's all finalized (keep your fingers crossed). We ended the night with a great dinner at HOUSE OF NANKING, which still remains the "Best Chinese Food, I've ever had" and then drinks at the W.

• DAY 3 - Woo Hoo! Michelle is coming down this afternoon to spend the weekend with me so we can celebrate our new adventure. But before that, more GDC, meeting folks who work for my new company and then making plans with Brooke & Buckley (Buckley is down here for work, Brooke is here visiting). While I was in a Seminar, my phone started going crazy as Michelle was desperately trying to get a hold of me which is odd because I thought she would have been on the plane by now! Turns out, her passport expired and they wouldn't let her on the plane. She got her flight moved to 7pm, and then over the span of three hours, got a new application, new pics, a new signature and two references which resulted in a new passport and she made the plane at 7pm. A Huge thanks to the team at Dr. Gloag's office, Victoria and Chad for assisting Michelle in her adventure. Anyway, she made it down, we had a late Mexican dinner at CHEVYS, then met Chris & Brooke for drinks at W.

• DAY 4 - The final day of GDC, I took Michelle to the Conference and introduced her to a bunch of "work" folk, she also got to wear my pass and see the nerd-o-naughts in full action. We then went to Lucasfilm at the PRESIDIO and got a full tour by my old friend Matt (which was awesome, such a cool campus). We then went to FISHERMAN'S WHARF, UNION SQUARE, home for a siesta then dinner at an awesome Thai place called OSHA.

• DAY 5 - We started with coffees and shopping on MARKET STREET, we then met Brooke & Buckley for brunch at CITIZEN CAKE. We walked up the street to look at THE PAINTED LADIES. Then Jen met us and while Michelle & Jen went for pedicures, Buckley, Brooke and I walked down MARKET STREET, we separated and I went home to watch THE SPIRIT (awful). I met up with Michelle and Jen again and she took us for a driving tour around the city (LOMBARD STREET, THE MARINA DISTRICT, CHINATOWN) and then we went for some kick ass Mexican at TRES AGAVES. Jen dropped us off in NOB HILL and we went for drinks at THE TONGA ROOM (a tiki bar) and TOP OF THE MARK (a sky bar overlooking the city). Sweet!

• DAY 6 - A quick jaunt down to the EMBARCADARO for a fantastic brunch at FOG CITY DINER, then another walk along FISHERMAN'S WHARF. We then hopped onto a CABLE CAR back downtown before heading to the PALACE OF FINE ARTS. From there we walked to CRISSY FIELD and then back to the MARINA DISTRICT for a late afternoon drink. We then hooked up with Adam & Jen for a goodbye dinner in their hometown of HEYWOOD (outside Oakland). Then back to the Hotel to pack for the flight home...

It was an awesome trip to SAN FRANCISCO for both work and pleasure and here are the PICS to prove it! We had kick ass weather the entire week and got to see one of the most beautiful cities in North America, plus I got a job! That sounds like a pretty good week to me!

QIUCK UPDATE

• At GDC in San Francisco!
  
• MICHELLE is on her way down to SF after a harrowing tense adventure!
  
• New TIKI BAR episode just came out HERE!
  
• Lots of San Fran PICS HERE!
  
• Hooking up with BROOKLEY tonight!

More later...

WEEKEND FULL O' BIRTHDAY'S

We celebrated two birthday's this weekend, the first our buddy CLINT and the second, our nephew CHRIS.

On Saturday, we met up with Clint and the crew at Memphis Blues for some Hockey, beer and BBQ which was awesome. Before we all succumbed to meat-infused comas, we headed back to Eric's to party onwards into the wee hours before the last folk remaining ended up in a heated Poker game. PICS

On Sunday, a good chunk of the McKibbon clan hooked up at the Eaglequest Golf Club to have dinner as a family and celebrate Chris' birthday. It was a great time filled with stories and laughter and ended up with most of the boys heading upstairs to hit a few balls on the driving range. PICS

A good birthday-filled weekend to be sure!

TAG!!!

We got tagged...

1. What are your middle names?

Francesco & Darlene Mae

2. How long have you been together?

In April it will be 6 years total, 3 married.

3. How long did you know each other before you started dating?

A couple weeks, it was pretty fast.

4. Who asked whom out?

I called her and she invited me over for hockey & pizza, it went on from there...

5. How old are you?

We are both in our mid thirties

6. Whose siblings do you see the most? 

We "see" my family more often but we "talk" with Michelle's more often

7. Do you have any children together? 

None

8. Pets?

3: Pinchy (cat), Laverne & Carmine (Dogs)

9. Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?

Keeping the house clean, I am awesome at tidying but lousy at cleaning. She's awesome at cleaning but needs help tidying.

10. Did you go to the same school?

Not at all.

11. Are you from the same town?

Both from Vancouver but I was raised in North Van and she was raised in Surrey.

12. Who is smarter? 

She's a scientist, I wear funny hats on the internet... you decide.

13. Who is more sensitive?

She cries at television commercials, I laugh.

14. Where do you eat out most as a couple? 

Sushi or Breakfast on weekends

15. Where is the farthest you have traveled as a couple?

Italy for our Honeymoon but there is the potential for a move to Singapore, so that's pretty far.

16. Who has the craziest exes?

Neither. They are all pretty cool except for "that one"... you know who you are!

17. Who has a worse temper?

Neither really, no need to "Hulk out" for either of us... yet.

18. Who does the cooking? 

Me, I love to cook. She does the baking and rocks at it.

19. Who is more social?

Both but I think she is more likely to hang with friends while I'm more likely to connect with peeps online.

20. Who is the neat freak?

Neither. She's cleaner except for the bedroom, I'm more organized except for every room in the house.

21. Who is more stubborn?

Me. No question.

22. Who hogs the bed?

The dogs.

23. Who wakes up earlier? 

I do. I make coffee, breakfast and lunch while michelle gets ready. Then I get ready for the day.

24. Where was your first date?

The legendary night of Hockey & Pizza at her place.

25. Who has the bigger family? 

Michelle comes from a family of six siblings, hers is giant. I have a lot of relatives in Europe.

26. Do you get flowers often? 

Me? Never but Michelle gets them once in a blue moon when she deserves them :-)

27. How do you spend the holidays?

Relaxing and catching up on life.

28. Who is more jealous?

Michelle.

29. How long did it take to get serious?

Not long at all.

30. Who eats more?

We both enjoy good food.

31. Who does the laundry? 

Both 

32. Who is better with the computer? 

Me but not by much

33. Who drives when you are together?

Me ususally but that's cause she's crazy behind the wheel!!!

TAG... you're it.

SINGAPORE DAY 5

Last night we indulged in the "national dish of Singapore" CHILI CRAB. Now I am not the biggest crab eater, I find them difficult to maneuver, messy and a lot of work for very little payoff but when it's the "national dish", you gotta give it a shot. Boy, am I glad I did, we tried both the CHILI CRAB and the BLACK PEPPER CRAB as well as LONG SCOTTISH CLAM and all the dishes were fantastic. Even Aamir who has had this at other places said it was one of the best he's tried. Yes, they are messy, yes they are hard to maneuver but the flavor makes it all worth it, I will definitely be eating more crab in my life if it tastes like this. If you are ever in Singapore, try LONG BEACH SEAFOOD in Dempsey, you won't be disappointed.

Another tour around the busy city on Saturday night, then back to the hotel for goodbyes and right to bed as I had to be up around 5:30am to get ready for the long adventure home. So here's how it went:

5:30AM - Wake up

6:45AM - Leave Hotel for Airport

7:20AM - Arrive at Airport

7:45AM - Arrive at Cathay Pacific Lounge

9:30AM - Plane leaves for HONG KONG

12:50PM - Arrive in HONG KONG

1:45PM - Arrive in Cathay Pacific Lounge

5:00PM - Plane Leaves for VANCOUVER (SUNDAY PM)

MASSIVE SHIFT IN THE SPACE TIME CONTINUUM WHERE I LOSE 21 HOURS

1:30PM - Arrive in VANCOUVER (SUNDAY PM)

One thing to note, the Singapore airport is a well-run machine, very efficient and very quick. The Hong Kong airport on the other hand is a gong show, disaster area all over but I did manage to find my Johnny Blue for $187CDN and a great perfume for Michelle so it's not a total loss!

This has been one hell of an adventure and the reason for it all, the job interview, I think went quite well. It's a great opportunity but Michelle and I have much to discuss and I still have a few exciting opportunities to explore here and abroad in the next few weeks. Regardless, SINGAPORE was fantastic and I think it will be sooner rather than later when I return, job or not.

To see all of my SINGAPORE pics, click HERE!!!